“Off with their heads!” – The 10 Scariest Disney Villains

For eight decades Disney has been bringing us some of the most memorable villains in the history of cinema. Dozens upon dozens of evil, wicked characters based on folklore, fables, fairy tales and historical fiction. Along with original characters and anthropomorphic antagonists there is a wide spectrum of bad eggs to discuss.

I’ve always favoured the more sinister baddies. I like my villains a little bit darker, a little bit more eccentrically twisted and a little bit scarier. Obviously this list is subjective, but there’s a couple of characters in here that genuinely did bother me as a child, hence their inclusion.

There’s been plenty of great foes and fiends over the years, but a lot of them have been either too foolish or too overly comical to be considered as frightening:

Without further ado, please enjoy my list of my top 10, scariest Disney villains.

10. Scar – The Lion King

Jeremy Irons smoothly sinister voice is now iconic in Hollywood, and combined with a devilishly sharp intellect and an almost psychopathic disregard for his own family, Scar is one of the most ruthless characters in the Disney back catalogue.

9. Queen Grimhilde – Snow White

The cold, vain, metamorphosing fruit enthusiast. I generally find the older Disney films have the creepiest villains. Perhaps it’s the limitations in animation of the time, or the classic design style that adds to the uncomfortably spine-chilling nature of the baddies. As both the ice-cold Queen and the deformed pensioner, Grimhilde is eerily business-like in her punishment of Snow White.

8. Lady Tremaine – Cinderella

A very interesting antagonist. The sustained psychological torture of Cinderella differs from other Disney villains who rely on aggression, violence or mystical powers. She is just a very cruel and emotionally damaging old lady. Terrifying.

7. Claude Frollo – The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Upon original release, Frollo didn’t really bother me too much as a nine year old. It’s only after re-visiting the film as an adult you get the full picture of his slimy creepiness. His, uncomfortable to watch, encounters with Esmeralda see him, groping, manhandling and sniffing her. There’s some seriously weird sexual predatory afoot, and for that reason, he makes the list.

6. Maleficent – Sleeping Beauty

Taken from one of my favourite Disney films of all time. I wore out my originally VHS copy as a child, and have since replaced it with the 50th Anniversary DVD. There’s a great many reasons I love it so much. Firstly Tchaikovsky’s soundtrack is wonderful. Secondly the look of the film is completely unique compared to anything that’s come and gone before it. In an effort to make the film stand out from Cinderella  a new production design was adopted featuring a much more Gothic approach, and one of the darkest villains in the Disney universe.

5. Queen of Hearts – Alice in Wonderland

There’s not much in Alice in Wonderland that makes any sense, and it’s perhaps this unpredictable nature of the film and the characters that makes the Queen of Hearts really troubling. Emotionally she’s up and down, hot and cold, calm then raging, and with her casual approach to beheading civilians, she is one of the most psychopathic baddies out there.

4. Cruella de Vil – 101 Dalmatians 

A downright lunatic, and generally one of the most grotesque antagonists to date. Her intrusive bullying and sister schemes make her presence alarming, and as a dog owner, she’s made the top five with a bullet.

3. The Chernabog – Fantasia

The most abstract entry of the list. Whilst not too prominent in terms of screen time, you can’t get too much darker than the raw representation of pure evil. Tonally I’d say Fantasia was the darkest Disney film, and unless they draft in Darren Aronofsky to direct an animated feature, I can’t see them topping it….. That would be amazing by the way.

2. The Coachman – Pinocchio

 

Now, Pinocchio is unbelievably bizarre. There’s a myriad of horrible characters in there. The anthropomorphic fox and cat, Honest John and Gideon are weird enough living amoungst humans. The hideous puppet master Stromboli is majorly creepy, but the character that takes the biscuit for me if the Coachman. Leading the wayward boys to Pleasure Island he encourages them to indulge in lewd behaviour, whilst he sadistically assists in their transformation into donkeys. Mental.

1. Ursula – The Little Mermaid

One of the very few times in my film loving life that I had to actually stop  watching a film due to being scared. As a child Ursula was one of the most horrible creatures I’d ever encountered. She’s half octopus and can grown into a giant for Christ’s sake. It was up there with the film adaptation of Roald Dahl’s The Witches in terms of sheer horror. Children should not be exposed to this.

*Shudders*

 

 

 

 

 

 

From Metropolis to Brazil – My Top 20 Dystopian Films

The sub-genre of science-fiction films involving a dystopian future, near future or an alternative present are some of my all time favourites. Often associated with paranoia, totalitarianism, government corruption, surveillance and mystery, the plots often jump time frames, contain twists or just generally have a cynical take on the state of the modern world.

Without further ado, here are my top 20 dystopian films:

20. Akira (1988)

I’m not really a fan of manga, however Akira seems to be one of the anime films that has crossed over into the (relative) mainstream. Due to it’s success and cult following, it’s often featured on fans and critics ‘greatest films of all time list’. Considering I’m not a fan of anime or manga, I have seen a fair bit in my time. This is by far my favourite and with a Hollywood remake currently in discussion it shows what a lasting legacy the film has had.

19. Metropolis (1927)

The oldest film to feature on my list and one of the finest examples of early German expressionist cinema. For the time, the visuals were stunningly unique, and in retrospect it’s considered to be highly influential in the science-fiction genre.

18. Watchmen (2009)

I didn’t warm to this film on first viewing. I thought it was overly long and lacking in any real substance. However after repeat viewings I have found more and more to enjoy about the film. The biggest criticism seemed to be it’s comparison to the beloved source material, Alan Moore’s original graphic novel. Admittedly, I’ve never read the graphic novel, but in terms of the film, it’s visually brilliant with some great performances across the board and it’s one of Zack Snyder’s best works to date.

17. Dark City (1998)

A seriously great work from Egyptian director Alex Proyas. Generally overshadowed by other pictures in his back catalogue such as The Crow (due to it’s overwhelming cult following) or his more mainstream and accessible films such as I, Robot and Knowing. Despite this, Dark City is visually spectacular and the most “out-there” film he has made.

16. The Matrix (1999)

Now a seminal work in the sci-fi genre. With innovative special effects, an intelligent script and iconic characters, the film had unlimited mainstream appeal. I think, in directorial terms, the Wachowskis have a very unique style about them and this is showcased brilliantly in The Matrix and it’s subsequent sequels.

15. WALL-E (2008)

A beautifully crafted animation from Pixar, littered with references to classic science fiction cinema. From the co-writer of the beloved Toy Story series, WALL-E is definitely one of Pixar’s finest features. The simplistic approach to the film was really refreshing to see, and a “kids” film that manages to be engaging, heart-warming, funny and thrilling without the use of any dialogue for the first 30 minutes is a massive achievement.

14. Total Recall (1990)

From Dutch director Paul Verhoeven, Total Recall is one of a number of films on this list based on the work of Philip K. Dick. Schwarzenegger became something of a legend in the science fiction genre throughout the 80’s and 90’s and Total Recall is the perfect blend of action, sci-fi and mystery.

13. The Running Man (1987)

Another Schwarzenegger sci-fi classic. Often overlooked in comparison to his bigger films of the time, but I have always championed The Running Man. Based on a novel by Stephen King, the “death games” element of the film along with classics such as Death Race 2000 perhaps served as influence to more contemporary works such as Battle Royale and the Hunger Games series.

12. Minority Report (2002)

Another of Philip Dick’s stories, this time presented by director Steven Spielberg. An absolutely gripping sci-fi thriller with a great central concept. It’s one of Spielberg’s best films of the 00’s and definitely a highlight in Tom Cruise’s back catalogue.

11. Robocop (1987)

A brutally violent action / sci-fi film from the late 80’s featuring Peter Weller’s most iconic performance. With 2 sequels and a remake produced in 2014, the character is legendary in the science fiction genre.

10. The Zero Theorem (2013)

Terry Gilliam’s (not quite) sequel to Brazil. As one has come to expect from a Gilliam film, it’s uniquely stylish and mind-bendingly bonkers. I’m a big Gilliam fan, and whereas the film was met with lukewarm reviews, I enjoyed the film a lot more than most audiences and have found more and more to like about it after repeat viewings.

9. Blade Runner (1982)

Be it the US theatrical release, the international theatrical release, the US broadcast version, the director’s cut of the final cut Blade Runner has been poked and tweaked and refined over the years. 2007’s Final Cut is supposedly the closest to the director’s vision and generally considered to be the definitive version. My first copy was The Directors Cut on VHS, so there’s a special place in my heart for that particular edit. Regardless, the film is an absolute classic in the genre and it’s with great trepidation that I await a new Blade Runner project that is scheduled for release next year.

8. Escape from New York (1981)

 

Kurt Russell’s first outing as the iconic Snake Plissken see’s him racing against time and battling against an assortment of  eccentric characters to rescue the President. Set in a future New York wasteland, the film is one of John Carpenter’s most memorable. The popularity of the central character and the concept lead to a sequel 15 years later, this time set in a future Los Angeles.

7. The City of Lost Children (1995)

La cité des enfants perdus as it was originally titled in French is a fantasy / science fiction mind-funk from writer/director Jean-Pierre Jeunet. In an effort to slow down his own aging process, a demented scientist kidnaps children to steal their dreams. Set in a surrealist society the film contains some really striking imagery and some inexplicable characters.

6. Brazil (1985)

Terry Gilliam’s mid-80’s masterpiece. An Orwellian work of sublime proportions follows Johnathan Pryce’s Sam Lowry and explores his life, his work, his dreams and his fears. You could write an entire dissertation on the themes present in this film, so for now, I’ll say it’s inventive both visually and conceptually and it’s one of the best films of the decade.

5. Battle Royale (2000)

A really sadistic thriller from director Kinji Fukasaku. Of all the “death games” films I’ve seen, this is by far the most brutal. In future Japan, the government kidnaps a class of students and forces them to kill each other for sport. Each given a survival kit consisting of a variety of weapons, anyone trying to escape the task gets executed via an exploding neck collar. Similarly, if there is more than one survivor left after the allocated game time, every contender’s collar explodes. A Simple concept, Brilliantly executed and my favourite Japanese film of all time.

4. A Scanner Darkly (2006)

Richard Linklater’s  mid-00’s masterpiece. Using a Philip K. Dick source novel and rotoscope animation, Linklater creates a bizarre world, somewhere between dreams and reality. One of my favourite Keanu Reeves films and perhaps my favourite Linklater film, A Scanner Darkly is filled with mystery, drama, surrealism, intrigue and fine performances across the board.

3. The Terminator (1984)

Generally Terminator 2: Judgement Day is hailed as Cameron’s masterpiece in the series, however I’ve always preferred the first film. It’s darker, it’s grittier, the effects are meatier and there’s more of a sustained sense of dread throughout. It’s one of the most perfect films in the history of science fiction cinema, and the fact it’s spawned 4 sequels, dozens of video games a live action 3D show at Universal Studios and endless amounts of merchandise shows how timeless the concept is.

2. 12 Monkeys (1995)

One of Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt’s finest cinematic outings and one of the very best Terry Gilliam films ever made. Inspired by a French short film from 1962 called La Jetée, Twelve Monkeys is a neo-noir, sci-fi, thriller. After a deadly virus wipes out almost all of humanity, James Cole (Willis) is sent back in time to gather information before the attack. He is accidentally sent back to the wrong year and as a result is institutionalised with Doctor’s believing him to be insane.

1. A Clockwork Orange (1971)

One of my favourite films of all time, by one of my favourite director’s of all time. Stanley Kubrick’s controversial masterpiece was famously withdrawn from cinema’s and home release in Britain shortly after it’s release. Until Kubrick’s death in 1999, the film was notoriously difficult to get hold of. After his death of course, the film was instantly screened on Channel 4 and released on VHS in a remastered version. It’s an absolute work of art and one of the most weirdly wonderful films in the history of cinema.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Red Pills & Bus Thrills: The Keanu Reeves top 10

I’m not entirely sure why I like Keanu Reeves so much. He’s often cited by critics and fans as a rather wooden actor and frequently appears in ‘bad acting’ or ‘worst actor’ lists. In terms of leading men in Hollywood he doesn’t have the flamboyance of Tom Cruise, the charm of George Clooney, the quirkiness of Johnny Depp, the explosiveness of Leonardo DiCaprio or the range of Christian Bale yet he has been at the forefront of some of the biggest Hollywood blockbusters of all time.

Alongside his big budget action / sci-fi works he’s had many roles in smaller, independently spirited productions and throughout a 30 year career has successfully spanned a number of genres.

I think my fondness for Keanu is down to my fondness for film in general. When I was growing up and first getting interested in the study of film, his work in the 1990’s was seminal watching. Even now, in retrospect, when I think of my favourite films within a certain genre, be it action, science fiction or horror, Keanu is frequently featured.

Granted he isn’t the finest actor to ever tread the boards, but he’s certainly not the worst. There would be dozens and dozens of Hollywood “heart throbs” that I would have standing trial for crimes against cinema before I’d even consider accusing Keanu of lacking conviction.

What he does lack as a thespian, he makes up for in other ways. It’s hard to explain. He has a certain allure, a certain je ne sais quoi that, as a leading man, can carry and entire film.

I think, when you see the quality of films on this list, you’ll agree, that despite all reservations you may have about Keanu, he’s done some really impressive work.

10. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

The 1990’s was a good decade for vampires. Alongside classics such as Interview with the Vampire, From Dusk Till Dawn and Blade, there was Mel Brooks’ comedic spoof Dracula: Dead and Loving it, and on TV, the launch of the much loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

In terms of ridicule, this is generally the film that fans hold up as an example of Keanu’s limited acting ability. It’s the only occasion I can recall him attempting an unnatural accent. Admittedly it is a poor attempt at English. It’s by no means the worst I’ve ever heard though. I would refer you to Charlie Hunnam (a Geordie) attempting a cockney accent in Green Street. 

Keanu’s performance isn’t the best in the film but nevertheless it’s a very good looking film with some fine performances from the supporting heavyweight thesps. Director Francis Ford Coppola went off the rails a bit from the 1980’s onward, and considering he was responsible for The Godfather and Apocalypse Now he hasn’t half churned out some shite since then. Thankfully Bram Stoker’s Dracula is at the higher end of his back catalogue.

9. The Devil’s Advocate (1997)

A mysterious thriller with nods towards the horror genre and a great pairing of Keanu Reeves and Al Pacino. Keanu is frequently required to ‘hold his own’ alongside acclaimed actors, and with 8 Oscar nominations and 1 Win, they don’t come much more acclaimed than Pacino.

8. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure / Bogus Journey (1989 – 1991)

One of the most infamous comedy duos in the history of cinema. The Bill & Ted films managed to resonate with an audience so potently that they eventually achieved cult status. Blending humour with science fiction, they were original, intelligent and family-friendly. There have been internet rumours for a long while of a forthcoming third installment, and according to IMDb, Bill & Ted 3 has been ‘announced’.

The contrast in career paths between the two (at the time) relatively unknown leads is rather staggering. Within ten years Keanu Reeves had been propelled into super-stardom and established himself as a leading man in Hollywood, whereas Alex Winters was barely heard of again, doing occasional bit parts on TV. Who knows, maybe Bill & Ted 3 (if it ever happens) will stir up some new interest in the 50 year old actor.

7. Knock Knock (2015)

Horror director Eli Roth’s latest is a very strange little film. After some pretty horrible reviews from fans and critics, the film currently holds an audience score of 4.9/10 on IMDb.com and a critic score of 33% (Rotten) on rottentomatoes.com . “An acquired taste” one might say.

I’ve never really been a fan of Eli Roth in the past, however I thought this was a very interesting piece of work. I’m a big fan of horror cinema and this had a lot of the integral elements I look for. Firstly, throughout the film I had no idea where it was going. The bizarre and offbeat nature of the story gives it a fair bit of edge that the more formulaic horror films often lack.

Secondly it was independently spirited. The budget was low and the supporting cast were relatively unknown. It was claustrophobic, due to small singular location it was filmed in. The camera work was rough and it was just that little bit more gritty, scruffy, scrungey and dishevelled than your standard A to B horror flick.

Thirdly, Keanu was given a lot more to do than I’m used to seeing. He was scared, mad, upset, vengeful, irate, caring and very shouty, and despite the reviews, I thought his acting was perfectly fine. Definitely the most underrated film on the list.

6. Constantine (2005)

In it’s day Constantine was one of the finest comic book adaptations to date. The all-smoking, demon busting cynic with a minimalist approach to fashion is played brilliantly by Keanu.

The director Francis Lawrence was part of the generation of filmmakers that evolved from the music video circuit, and similarly to directors such as Spike Jonze, David Fincher and Michel Gondry, he made the transition brilliantly. With Constantine as his first feature, he went on to director I Am Legend and 3 of the Hunger Games films.

Also, for any critics of Reeves acting ability, this is the perfect film to watch, as anyone performing alongside Shia LaBeouf instantly starts to look as accomplished as Daniel Day Lewis.

5. Point Break (1991)

One of the finest action films of the 1990’s and very fondly remembered in retrospect. It followed the winning action blockbuster formula to a tee. Since it’s release, the film has spawned a cult musical, Point Break Live! , has been referenced many times in pop culture, most notably in 2007’s Hot Fuzz and inspired a 2015 remake (that I will never watch).

4. The Matrix Series (1999 – 2003)

I was never really wowed by The Matrix when it first came out. I was only 11 at the time of release and found that it didn’t really capture my imagination. I saw both of the sequels at the cinema and was very underwhelmed. Even in retrospect it’s quite evident that the sequels aren’t anywhere near as strong as the original, and since re-watching the first installment I now have a better understanding as to why the film got hailed in such high regard, and in terms of special effects and direction and why it’s culturally so important to the science fiction genre.

Even with the sequels flaws, the films aren’t completely without charm, but the original Matrix still holds up today, 17 years later, as a captivating watch.

3. A Scanner Darkly (2006)

I’m a huge fan of writer / director Richard Linklater’s films and this has always been one of my favourites. Filmed similarly to 2001’s Waking Life, in rotoscope animation, A Scanner Darkly is a science fiction drama based on the novel by Philip K. Dick.

Unlike more mainstream Dick film adaptations such as Blade Runner, Total Recall, Minority Report and The Adjustment Bureau, A Scanner Darkly is a lot less accessible for the general cinema going public. It’s been commented that it’s the most faithful adaptation of a Philip Dick novel to date and the hypnotic visuals Linklater adopts have been praised as engrossing.

I love this film. It’s my favourite of Keanu’s science fiction features and, on a good day, is my favourite of Richard Linklater’s back catalogue.

2. Speed (1994)

One of my favourite 90’s action films without a shadow of a doubt. A very simple concept, confined to a singular location, a great supporting cast and a tense soundtrack makes Speed a classic in the genre.

Considering the vast majority of the action takes place on a bog standard Los Angeles bus, the film is one of the most tense and gripping action films of the time. Cementing Keanu’s place in Hollywood as a bankable leading man, there isn’t a great deal of the film where he’s not on screen.

Speed’s quite unique within the genre as, for an action film, there isn’t a massive body count. There’s minimal gore and violence. Considering it takes place predominantly on the road, there isn’t a huge amount of car stunts, chases or crashes. There’s no sex or nudity and there’s no hand to hand combat. When James Bond is trying to dismantle the bomb at the end of Goldfinger whilst the clocks ticking down, Speed manages to take that style of momentary tension and sustain it for an entire film. Superb.

1. John Wick (2014)

I had minimal expectations for this film prior to viewing. From the marketing campaign it appeared to be another mid-budget, straight to DVD styled, action B-Movie. Which in many ways, it is. However John Wick has so much flare and style about it that it raises it to a bar above it’s action film counterparts.

Firstly it looks wonderful. The colour pallet and the cinematography really give it it’s own distinctive look and feel. It appears other worldly, yet familiar. It’s vibrant, yet muted and as a directorial debut for Chad Stahelski and David Leitch is a very impressive first feature.

Secondly the action sequences are beautifully choreographed and orchestrated. It’s really refreshing for a director to hold off with the camera, and let the combat scenes play out organically, without too many cuts, close ups or edits. It’s no surprise that both directors have years of experience working  in the stunts and stunt choreography side of the film industry, as there is such a fluidity and smoothness to the extended fight scenes.

Thirdly, Keanu Reeves is really good in the lead role. After seeing the film, I can’t imagine anyone else being better cast as John Wick.

Finally, I’ve put this film as number one purely for the joyous ‘wow factor’ I felt after watching it. Going in with no expectations it was definitely one of the surprises of the cinematic year for me, and with a sequel in post-production I await John Wick 2 with bated breath.

There’s No Budget like Low Budget: The Bruce Campbell Top 10

My first (knowing) exposure to the genius that is Bruce Campbell was somewhere around 1999 / 2000. As a young teenager, I was an avid VHS collector and renter. After acquiring a copy of 1992’s Army of Darkness, and knowing nothing of the film or the star, my mind was suitably blown. From there I got my hands on any Bruce Campbell video I could find, and over the years managed to fill in the blanks with the advent of DVD, Blu-Ray and streaming.

I’m something of a BC fanboy and he’s without doubt one of my favourite actors. Throughout his extensive career, he’s been something of a pioneer of B-Movies. The term ‘B-Movie’ isn’t  necessarily specific to the low budget, ridiculous sci-fi or horror films he’s been associated with. Any film outside the mainstream (often a supporting feature), with a smaller budget, a more conventional plot and generic conventions could fall under the ‘B’ umbrella. Generally produced by writers, directors and actors who are starting out, and learning the ropes in the film industry. Campbell has essentially built his career on these kind of films.

Occasionally flirting with the mainstream:

Bruce is more well known (within his cult following) for films such as these:

Outside of the film industry, Bruce is a best selling author:

Has had leading and recurring roles in dozens of TV shows:

Has had cameos in dozens and dozens of long running series. Frequently makes appearances at Comic-Con’s, Film Festivals, Horror Events, Book Signings and Fan Lead events:

And as well as voice acting credits for a number of family animations:

He’s also been the voice of many popular video games:

In a career spanning five decades, he’s done it all. My fondness for Bruce spawns from his understanding of fandom and genre. He understands what he does and caters for his cult following magnificently. Often self-referential in his work, but never apologetic he embraces each project he’s involved in, be it box-office shattering superhero films or made for TV movies financed by the sci-fi channel. He understands the fan culture and he never fails to deliver.

With hundreds of acting credits, Bruce has also tried his hand at writing, directing and producing for film and TV, hence why this is a very hard top 10 to nail down. For the sake of variety, I have condensed his recurring roles in a film series as one entry on the list, and I have also expanded the selection slightly by including made for TV movies, as there are definitely a couple that warrant a mention.

Without further ado, please enjoy, my Bruce Campbell Top 10:

10. The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)

Through his connection with the Coen’s long time associate Sam Raimi, Bruce has appeared in a number of Coen Brothers films. As well as The Hudsucker Proxy, Campbell has worked with the Coens on Crimewave, Intolerable Cruelty and The Ladykillers. Of all their productions involving BC, this is his finest role.

9. Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man 3 (2002 – 2007)

Appearing in each of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man films as different characters, his roles may be brief but they are integral to the series. As Bruce touched on himself in an interview with Mark Kermode, he reiterates his significance within the franchise. In Spider-Man, as the wrestling ring announcer, he actually names Peter as Spider-Man for the first time, against Parker’s wishes of being referred to as ‘The Human Spider’. In Spider-Man 2 as a theatre usher he denies Peter entrance to Mary-Jane’s play after arriving late. And in Spider-Man 3 as a snooty French waiter, he helps to ruin Peter’s planned proposal and publicly berates him. This means that Bruce Campbell is the only person who has successfully defeated Spider-Man every time he has come into contact with him.

8. In the Line of Duty: Blaze of Glory (1997)

One of the ‘made for TV’ movies to make an appearance on the list. I came across Blaze of Glory (as it was released as in the UK) on VHS and had no idea it was a made for TV feature. Based on the true story of bank robbers Jill and Jeff Erickson, Bruce Campbell stars in this Bonnie and Clyde-esque crime / drama.

7. Alien Apocalypse (2005)

 

  An original film produced by the Sci-Fi network, Alien Apocalypse is an appallingly poor science fiction adventure film. With a similar set up to planet of the apes, astronaut Ivan (Campbell) returns from a mission to find that Earth has been taken over by aliens. The effects are terrible, the script is weak, the direction is poor, the performances are generally dyer and Bruce Campbell is amazing.

6. Escape from L.A. (1996)

John Carpenter’s sequel to his cult 1981 sci-fi film Escape from New York. With a similar premise, Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) is sent by the government to a post-apocalyptice style American city to retrieve a device. Also mirroring the first film, Plissken has been injected with a virus that is timed to kill him unless he returns to the government for the cure. He meets a series of colourful characters along the way, and one of the most memorable is the deranged and psychotic Surgeon General of Beverly Hills played by Bruce Campbell.

5. My Name is Bruce (2007)

Also directed by Mr Campbell, Bruce has to really stretch his acting skills in order to play a legendary B-Movie actor ‘Bruce Campbell’. After being mistaken for his character Ash in the Evil Dead series Bruce is forced into fighting a real monster (Guan Di) in the small town of Gold Lick, Oregon. The film is continuously referential to Bruce’s career and legacy, and Bruce plays an extremely comical exaggeration of himself. The film is integral viewing for any Campbell fanboy.

4. Maniac Cop, Maniac Cop 2 (1988 – 1990)

The Maniac Cop films are brilliant. They’re kind of like a less successful, smaller budget version of the Terminator films. There’s elements of horror and action with a supernatural twist, but ultimately, it’s a (seemingly) indestructible brick-shithouse going around killing people in nasty ways. The original film spawned two sequels, the first of which also featured Bruce Campbell, and according to IMDb there is a remake currently in-development for release in 2017.

3. Running Time (1997)

Possibly the most obscure film on my list. I came across Running Time whilst at University and since then struggled to find it again. As far as I know, it’s not had a DVD release in the U.K. I had to order an imported copy from Germany to get hold of it. So when I say it’s low-budget, that would be an understatement. The film has a brilliant concept. It’s 70 minute ‘running time’ is filmed (supposedly) in real-time, in one continuous shot. The film starts when Campbell’s character Carl is picked up from jail after his release. He is immediately taken to conduct a bank robbery, which goes wrong and the film then follows him to a safe house. Whether the film is in fact filmed in one shot, without edits or not is irrelevant as it works really well regardless. It’s unique, it’s exciting and Bruce Campbell is brilliant in the lead role.

2. Bubba Ho-Tepp (2002)

A real fan favourite amoungst  the BC fraternity. The genius behind this work can be summed up simply with one sentence: Bruce Campbell plays an aging Elvis Presley and teamed with an elderly black man (claiming to be President JFK, who, surviving the assassination attempt, was dyed black and abandoned), fights a re-animated ancient Egyptian mummy.

1. Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2, Army of Darkness (1981 – 1992)

It had to be. There was never any doubt. The infamous Evil Dead series are legendary in the horror genre. Sam Raimi’s masterful blend of comedy and horror has yet to be equaled. With Bruce heading the cast for each installment, his knack for physical comedy, rugged good looks and delivery of classic one liners has kept the films as cult favourites since their release. With remakes, video games, a spin off TV series, action figures, comic books, fan made sequels and an off Broadway musical inspired by the films, there’s no doubt that Evil Dead will continue to live on for a long long time.

 

 

 

Spiders, Ants, Mutants & Gods – My Top 10 Marvel Films

With the release of the third installment in the Captain America franchise at the end of the week, the Marvel powerhouse will most probably continue to cement it’s reputation as the greatest cinematic, comic book authority. DC’s fate seems slightly up in the air at the moment after Batman vs. Superman generally underwhelmed both critics and audiences.

There’s been over 40 live action productions based on Marvel Comics, and with another dozen scheduled for release between now and 2019, they are more or less unstoppable at the box office. It took a while for the momentum to really get going with a few turkeys, box office bombs and a lack of consistency throughout the 1990’s and 2000’s. It wasn’t really until the end of the 00’s that the formula really began to gel. There’s a remarkable amount of diversity in the releases and a staggering range of quality.

From critical disasters and box office bombs:

To superb sequels:

To poor sequels:

To something for the kids:

To something for the grown ups:

Small budgets:

Big budgets:

Oscar winners/ nominees:

Razzie winners / nominees:

And a whole bunch of production companies trying to keep things in order.

Over the years Marvel films have had spectacular highs and colossal lows. Even attempting a top 10 makes my brain hurt, but I will give it my best shot. The first order of business is to address the elephant in the room, and to just get it out of the way early on.

Deadpool does not feature in my top 10. Unfortunately, I wasn’t as impressed with it as the rest of the world was. Don’t get me wrong, generally it was a very enjoyable comic book romp, but I didn’t feel it was anything spectacular or groundbreaking. I’m afraid the constant wisecracks and one liners from Ryan Reynolds did, after a while, begin to grate on me a bit. It was perfectly entertaining for the 1hr and 48 minutes that it was on, but I didn’t feel it was as cutting edge or as innovative as it’s being hailed as. I know, I’ll get lynched for this, but I felt the latest Fantastic Four film was more offbeat in terms of production. Granted what it attempted to do was a spectacular failure, but Deadpool is still definitely restricted by the Marvel franchise and and formula. Whereas it appears to be giving a middle finger to ‘the system’, it’s still very much bound by their rules, and there’s nothing that excess gore and foul language will be able to do about that.

Anywho, if I still have any readers left after that paragraph, here’s my top 10 live action Marvel films.

10. Spider-Man 2 (2004)

Spider-Man has been a bit all over the place over the years. By Spider-Man 3 director Sam Raimi has completely lost the plot. It was a mess of a film. Similarly, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 from 2014, sent the franchise to pot.

Spider-Man had one of the quickest turn around in superhero history. With only five years between Raimi’s trilogy and The Amazing Spider-Man reboot in 2012, Spidey will now be featured in the new Captain America film under Marvel Studios, played by a different actor. This new Spidey will be a separate entity from Columbia’s Spider-Man trilogy and 20th Century Fox’s Amazing Spider-Man series. Confused? Well to put it simply, Spider-Man is one of my favourite Marvel characters. Over the last couple of decades there’s been a number of films, some good and some bad. Spider-Man 2 would be the high water mark for me, and Toby Maguire is still the definitive Peter Parker. Andrew Garfield (as much as I like him) was just a tad cool, witty and trendy for the role. I like my nerds as crippling socially awkward and anxious as possible.

9. Ant-Man (2015)

I was extremely apprehensive before viewing Ant-Man. After keeping abreast of the original developments involving Edgar Wright directing the film and co-writing the script with Joe Cornish, I was very excited. When I learnt that Edgar Wright had left the project and the script was being re-written, alarm bells started ringing. I’m a big fan of Edgar Wright, so this seemed to be sacrilegious. His replacement, Peyton Reed was mainly known for directing mediocre comedies such as The Break Up, Bring it On and Yes Man. The alarm bells got louder and louder and, with re-writes and changes in personnel. Ant-Man began to sound like a doomed project.

I really enjoyed the finished product. After guffawing at the Thomas the Tank Engine scene in the trailer, the rest of the film did not disappoint. It’s nice when Marvel step aside from the heavyweight heroes and focus on the lesser known, smaller (in every sense of the word) films.

8. X-Men: First Class (2011)

X-Men is another series that’s been a bit shaky over the years.  With 7 X-Men features since 2000 and another 1 set for release later this year, the franchise dipped a bit in the middle. First Class was a “back to the drawing board” response to X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Both of which failed to impress fans and critics. Set in the 1960’s, the film is a period piece about the early life of Charles Xavier, Erik Lensherr and Raven (Mystique). With cameos and references to an eclectic mix of mutants in the Marvel back catalogue, First Class is 1 of my favourites in the series. I’m a big fan of director Matthew Vaughn, and I loved how stripped down and straight forward the story was. The series snowballed after the first release as things became, bigger, louder, sillier and more unnecessarily complicated. First Class took it back to its roots and gave a fascinating character study of two of the most famous protagonists and antagonists in the history of comic books.

7. X2 (2003)

Bryan Singer. The instigator. Before his X-Men in 2000. There was nothing really. A couple of okay Batman films from the 80’s / 90’s. Couple of Superman’s in the 80’s and a few one offs here and there over the years. From the 21st century onward filmmakers finally had the relevant cinematic technology to bring to life some of the more fantastical heroes. Singer managed to do this brilliantly, and as well as great casting, great story telling and great visuals, Singer also managed to produce a superhero film that could be taken seriously. The sequel to X-Men required Singer to up the ante. So he did. After the first time I saw it, X2 became my favourite X-Men film and has retained that title ever since. The opening sequence featuring Nightcrawler breaching Presidential security is still one of the finest moments in the history of superhero films.

6. Iron Man (2008)

I class Iron Man as a surprise hit. There’s no denying it’s one of the finest comic book films ever made, but I’m not sure how it did it.  It was the first release from Marvel Studios and it set the ball rolling for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Released at a similar time to Spider-Man 3, The Dark Knight, X-Men Origins, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man for my money was up against it. Taking a comparatively lesser known superhero, a lead actor who had been off the boil for years and wasn’t anywhere near the A-List status that he’s at now, a director (Jon Favreau) who’s only sci-fi adventure film to date (Zathura) was a complete box office flop and a newly formed production company seemed to be rather risky indeed.

Al this aside, it’s just a ridiculously great movie, and it was overwhelmingly successful. Robert Downey Jr. is so engaging as Tony Stark. The story is exciting and comprehensible, the effects are great, the supporting cast are superb, the soundtrack kicks ass and when you hold it up against other Marvel releases of the time, it’s light years ahead of the game. It restored humor, wit and invention to the genre and catapulted Downey Jr and Favreau to super-stardom establishing them as major players in their respective fields.

5. Iron Man 3 

Just nudging out Iron Man on the list Iron Man 3 tops if for me as the favourite in the series. After the disappointment of Iron Man 2, I didn’t particularly have high hopes for the third. After 6 MCU releases in 4 years culminating in 2012’s Avengers Assemble, things were getting very loud and noisy. With back to back features, all intertwining and playing off each other, the franchise needed to just calm down a little bit. So it did. Instead of cranking it to the next level and potentially imploding in on itself, Iron Man 3 takes a step back and is the most reflective Marvel film to date. It becomes more of a Tony Stark character piece as he tries to come to terms with the horrors of New York in The Avengers. Of course you have your whiz bang, smashy smashy segments as well, naturally. But Iron Man 3 is an extremely intelligent addition to the franchise, that displays another side of Tony. His vulnerable side.

4. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Again, when seeing the marketing for Guardians I was struggling to see how they would make it work. It’s the most full on science fiction film in the Marvel back catalogue. It seemed to be far removed from the other releases and didn’t appear to fit into the extended Universe as comfortably as the other Earth based features. Chris Pratt as the leading man, was not yet established as a major star. The writer / director James Gunn was most known for low budget indie horror / comedy films, and it was released within 12 months of The Wolverine, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, X-Men: Days of Future Past, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Thor: The Dark World and Avengers: Age of Ultron. Some seriously big sequels. I (along with the rest of the world) was completely charmed by it. It was like seeing Star Wars again but as an adult. It’s just a fabulous space romp, with brilliantly funny dialogue, great performances and characters and a completely offbeat 70’s pop soundtrack. The soundtrack definitely helps ground the film into some kind of reality you can relate to and I was amazed to find myself genuinely caring for an anthropomorphic raccoon and a walking tree-like-humanoid.

3. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

I remember seeing the trailer for Captain America in the cinema, and my heart sinking. As an Englishman I didn’t feel I could stomach a flag-waving, pro-American, two hour rendition of Star Spangled Banner. I was rather ignorant to the character in general. Captain America had never really been in the British consciousness like Batman, Superman or Spider-Man etc. My assumptions were quickly banged to rights and upon my first viewing of the film, ‘Cap’ quickly became my favourite Avenger, my favourite Marvel film series and one of my favourite superheros to date. The film actually addresses my initial reservations and is self referential about the cheesy potential of the character. The film manages to be old fashioned and traditional whilst retaining a modern edge. It manages to be tongue-in-cheek and lighthearted towards the character without being apologetic.

In an era of dark, troubled and conflicted superheros it was so refreshing to see a hero that stands for nothing other than good. The main antagonists in the film, the Red Skull, are a fantastic nemesis and it was such a great black and white example of good vs. evil.

2. Avengers Assemble (2012)

A perfect example of why Joss Whedon is “the man”. I’ve been a fan of Buffy and Angel for years. I love Firefly and Serenity, and even one of the greatest films ever made, Toy Story, has Joss Whedon’s DNA all over the screenplay. What he achieved with The Avengers was nothing short of miraculous. He took half a dozen larger than life characters, a ridiculous budget and made a Joss Whedon film. At no point does it feel like he’s had to compromise his vision, and the finished product is one of the finest Marvel films ever made. To be able to juggle that many main characters (who all need screen time), that many plot developments and keep everything tied together neatly to lead into the next installment of the franchise is not easy. But the film is hilarious, moving, action packed and most importantly, coherent. At no point does it feel overly long or dull and the flourishes of comedy “asides” are the funniest moments in a Marvel film to date.

The Hulk is another of my favourite comic book characters and finally, a cinematic Hulk has worked completely. I didn’t actually mind Ang Lee’s Hulk from 2003 or the Marvel Studios Incredible Hulk from 2008, perhaps because I have so much fondness for the character. The films just didn’t quite pull it off though. As part of an ensemble the Hulk character works unbelievably well. He has some of the most moving, most action packed and funniest moments in the entire film. I’m so glad they managed to crack it.

1. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Similarly to Iron Man 3, Cap 2 took the series in a different direction. The majority of the drama plays out as a conspiracy thriller. With twists, turns and bursts of action, The Winter Solider really stands out from the other Marvel films as something different. Naturally they are obliged to have the big action set pieces, the special effects and the tie-ins with the franchise, but comparatively it’s such an intelligently done, slow burning drama. With fantastic character development for both Cap and Black Widow, it’s another brilliant example of the franchise slowing down a little bit and becoming a tad more reflective. I was curious to see how they would adapt the Cap story for the modern world, after the previous film being set in the 40’s, but any concerns I had about how they would do it were put to rest instantly.

Well, that hard to whittle the list down to a top 10.

Honorable mentions go out to X-men: Days of Future Past, Thor, The Amazing Spider-Man, Avengers: Age of Ultron and The Wolverine that got ummed and arred over and were all up for consideration at some stage.

 

It’s clear to see (as my top 3 films all heavily feature Steve Rogers) that I am rather biased with my choices. Needless to say my anticipation for Civil War is grand and I am very much #TeamCap.

Take care.

 

 

By George! : 10 Cinematic Namesakes

To celebrate St. George’s day, here’s 10 great cinematic Georges from both sides of the camera for your consideration.

10. George Wendt

Infamous on the small screen for his role as Norm Peterson in Cheers, George Wendt has also been involved in dozens and dozens of films in both an acting and producing capacity. From dramas such as Guilty by Suspicion, Forever Young and King of the Ants to family comedies, Christmas flicks and Spice World: The Movie, George Wendt has done it all. Despite a career that has spanned 5 decades, he will always be known to me, and the majority of the world as….. Norm!

9. George Reeves

Despite his tragically short acting career Reeves starred in a great many films including Biblical epics, Westerns, comedies, musicals, dramas, war epics and timeless classics such as Gone with the Wind. He is perhaps best know for portraying Superman on television from 1952 – 1958, and the subsequent spin off films, Stamp Day for Superman and Superman and the Mole Men. In 2006 Ben Affleck portrayed Reeves in the biographical film Hollywoodland. 

8. George Takei

With roles in major Hollywood productions such as Tom Hanks’s Larry Crowne and Disney’s Mulan, as well as six feature length Star Trek films, George Takei has been involved with hundreds of projects on film and television. As a notable gay-rights activist and Internet personality, George Takei is more popular than ever. Despite his vast and colourful career, he is perhaps immortalised as  Mr Sulu in the original Star Trek series and subsequent motion pictures.

7. George Carlin

Most noted for his stand-up comedy, George Carlin was also very active in the film business in his autumn years. Working with Disney and Pixar he lent his voice to the animated features Tarzan II and Cars. Working with writer / director Kevin Smith, he consecutively appeared in Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Jersey Girl. As well as featuring in the comedy films Scary Movie 3, Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey, Carlin also narrated the American version of Thomas the Tank Engine for over 25 years.

6. George Lazenby

Australian born Lazenby will forever be remembered as the actor who replaced Sean Connery in the James Bond series. It’s now widely accepted that George Lazenby was the worst of the Bonds, and his one appearance in the role is often criticised or generally forgotten about. I’ve always liked Lazenby though and have never had any issue with his performance. The film itself, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is without doubt one of the best Bond films, and for my money Lazenby is a perfectly capable 007. He looks the part. He can throw a punch. He sounds like Bond and he’s a very engaging screen presence. The fact he only appeared in the series once is nothing to do with his acting ability, but more his off-screen recreations. Shortly after filming, Lazenby engrossed himself into the late 60s hippy culture of the time. He would turn up to film premiers bearded with long hair, and the producers thought his offscreen image and lifestyle was not in keeping with their requirements for a full time Bond.

5. George Martin

Sticking with the Bond theme brings us to the next George on the list. Known predominantly as the record producer who famously collaborated with the Beatles, George Martin has also been involved in many films as a composer, musical arranger and musical director. Working on the Beatles films A Hard Days Night, Magical Mystery Tour and Yellow Submarine Martin has written and produced film scores for a wide variety of movies such as Michael Caine’s Pulp and Roger Moore’s first Bond film Live and Let Die.

4. George Harrison

Sticking with the Beatles theme! George Harrison will always be known as ‘the quiet Beatle’, but his film credentials are very impressive. As well as composing the original score for Wonderwall George Harrison’s production company Handmade Films were responsible for over 20 productions in 10 years. Originally created to help fund Monty Python’s Life of Brian George’s company ran successfully for years and he has an executive producer credit on some seminal British comedies such as Time Bandits, The Life of Brian, Withnail & I and Nuns on the Run.

3. George A. Romero

Legendary horror writer / director George A. Romero completely pioneered the zombie genre with his 1968 release Night of the Living Dead. Years ahead of it’s time, the film is now regarded as a masterpiece of the genre. Going on to direct 5 sequels, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, Diary of the Dead and Survival of the Dead, Romero has managed to stay relevant in the horror world and his original formula for zombie films has been repeated, remade, reinvented, parodied and referenced for over 50 years. Outside of Dead series, Romero has produced many other memorable works in the horror genre, such as The Crazies, Martin and Creepshow.

 

2. George Clooney

Oscar winning actor / producer, George Clooney was propelled from TV stardom to global mega-stardom with lead roles in major Hollywood productions. As well as the box office shattering films such as Oceans 11 and Gravity, Clooney’s varied career has allowed him to take on roles in smaller productions with more acclaimed directors, as well as working with the Coen Brothers on 4 occasions he has also starred in films by Alexander Payne amd Wes Anderson. Behind the camera Clooney has directed 5 critically and financially successful films, as well as having production credits on dozens of pictures including the Oscar winning Argo. 

1. George Lucas

Now one of the biggest behemoth franchises in the history of cinema, Star Wars is as popular now as it was nearly 40 years ago. Going through many changes over the years in terms of directors, writers and producers the series has now been handed over to Disney and entrusted to writer / director J.J. Abrams. The fans have had a turbulent relationship with Lucas over the years, particularly in regards to the prequels, but without George Lucas’s writing, directing and production they would be no Star Wars and there would be no Indiana Jones. So that alone puts him in good stead to be one of the most influential figures in the history of cinema.

Happy St. George’s Day!

 

 

 

Lock, Stock & 10 Jason Statham Films: The Stath’s Top 10

There have been a surge of ridiculous man vs. animal films lately. Since 2006’s Snakes on a Plane, we have had: Dinoshark, the Sharknado series, Piranha 3D, Piranha 3DD, Piranhaconda, Sharktapus, Dinocroc vs Supergator, Megapython vs Gatoroid and so on and so on and so on. It’s fair to say, this sort of thing has been done, to death.

Just when I thought, I’d grown bored of these films, articles start flying around the Internet about Meg, a forthcoming 2017 release, starring Jason Statham in fisty cuffs with a killer shark.

I’m a huge Jason Statham fan, and I don’t know why.

I studied film for years and have an appreciation for classic cinema, European films, critically acclaimed works, art house pieces, Asian horror, award winning movies and also Jason Statham. He’s completely unapologetic in all of his roles. He knows he’s making B-movies, nuts and bolts action films and nothing that requires him to turn up and be anything other than Jason Statham. Quite simply, he is brilliant at being Jason Statham.

Usually it’s in an actors twilight years that they settle into the B-movie circuit. Former huge stars churn out the “straight to DVD” or “straight to DVDesque” flicks such as:

With limited release, limited budget and limited appeal, these are the kind of film’s you’d generally see on DVD in a supermarket bargain bin for £3, six months after their release. Jason Statham has essentially built his career on these films. No matter what the genre:

Action

Comedy

Sci-Fi

Family

Thriller

Or Fantasy

Jason Statham plays Jason Statham. I’ve been a big fan of his since the early Guy Ritchie pictures, and the Stath top 10 is long overdue. Collateral gets an honorable mention as it’s a fantastic thriller directed by Michael Mann. However, Stath’s role wasn’t substantial enough for me to class it as a ‘Jason Statham’ movie. I’ve taken into account sequels and trilogies and for a bit of variety I’ve lumped all franchises into one place on the list……. I say variety……

10. Death Race (2008)

The Stath’s appeared in numerous remakes over the years. The Italian Job (2003), The Pink Panther (2006)  and Mean Machine (2001), a remake of 1974’s The Longest Yard. For me, by far his finest remake is 2008’s Death Race. Based on the original film Death Race 2000 from 1975, the Stath is forced to adopt the role of the mythical driver Frankenstein. General racing and death occurs. Whereas it’s no where near as seminal as the original in terms of  film history, it’s a perfectly enjoyable hour and 45 minutes from director Paul W.S.Anderson. Not to be confused with Oscar nominated director Paul Thomas Anderson.

P.T Anderson = There Will Be Blood, Magnolia, Boogie Nights

P.W.S. Anderson = Mortal Kombat, AVP: Alien vs Predator, Resident Evil: Retribution 

If you want awards heavy modern masterpieces, P.T.A. If you want CGI heavy schlock, P.W.S.A. Both fine directors in their chosen fields.

9. Hummingbird (2013)

Or Redemption as it’s known in some territories, including the U.S. That’s when you know you’ve got a B-Movie on your hands. Repackaged with a different title, superb. It’ll probably be re-released with another different title in 10 years time, when one of the bit-part actors featured has sprung to stardom, with his or her face on the cover. Nevertheless, it’s a cracking little B-Movie. Jason Statham plays a drunk, homeless ex forces veteran who steals the identity of a high end photographer and poses as his boyfriend whilst squatting in his flat. He befriends a nun whilst gradually working his way up as a member of the Triads. He then exploits his position with the Chinese mafia to avenge the murder of his homeless friend Isabel. Now THAT is a B-Movie.

8. The Expendables Series (2010 – 2014)

The “let’s get the band back together” action medley featuring an ensemble of former “biggest action stars in the world”, mixed with today’s ‘ard men. The first film was surprisingly a huge box office success, bringing in nearly 300 hundred million on a modest budget, and spawning two sequels. It’s a sort of more explodey, shooty version of The A-Team where the cast mutually back slap each other, are self referential about their careers and talk about how old they now are. All of the films are extremely watchable, and almost force you to have upwards of seven beers per viewing.

7. Blitz (2011)

Not as “full throttle” as some of Statham’s similar work and sits more comfortably in the ‘thriller’ half of the Venn diagram as apposed to ‘action’. Blitz has heavier elements of intrigue and drama and is slightly darker in tone. The Stath plays a “hard as nails” copper who is in pursuit of a serial killer targeting police officers. As well as a (literally) solid lead performance from JS, the film really benefits from an absolutely stellar supporting cast, which features Paddy Considine, Aidan Gillen, David Morrissey and Mark Rylance. Arguably the most accomplished supporting cast that Statham has ever worked with.

6. Revolver (2005)

Definitely the most diverse film on the list, Revolver seemed to completely divide critics and audiences upon release. A more or less unanimous panning of the film by critics lead to it bombing at the box office, and since then it hasn’t really picked up too much momentum on TV or DVD. I remember seeing it when it was first released in cinemas back in 2005. Granted I was only 18 at the time and slightly naive in the area of film criticism, but I loved it. Upon repeat viewings in my later years, I have gradually seem more and more of the points critics were making. For example, the unnecessarily overly complex / pretentious themes, plots and motifs, written by someone who appears completely ill-educated on the subject he’s discussing. Regardless, I do like the film, and I particularly like Jason Statham in it. If you can remove yourself (like I can) from the convoluted waffle that weighs it down, you’ll find some great performances, fabulous cinematography with incredibly innovative uses of colour palettes and an alluring original score.

11 years later and it seems that the initial scathing, venomous feelings towards the film have died down slightly. Still not quite hitting the mark with critics, Revolver currently holds an average user rating of 6.5/10 on IMDB and 3.3/5 on Rotten Tomatoes, so you can’t say fairer than that. I’ve never really considered Revolver to be a cult film until writing this post. But with its jaded history, its limited appeal and its uniqueness, it ticks all the boxes for me.

5. Crank (2006) / Crank: High Voltage (2009)

Crank is like Speed except the bus is Jason Statham. In order to stay alive he must keep his adrenaline constantly flowing. He does this by taking drugs, getting into fights and indulging in mass amounts of aggressive rumpy pumpy with his missus. The Cranks are completely shameless in their exploitative nature, and similarly to Statham’s character are filmed in a furious kind of manner. The direction and editing reminded me of a 2002 film called Spun, about a speed-freak on a drugs binge. The whole thing has almost punk film-making aesthetics, and is like a thrash metal music video that got out of hand.

4. The Bank Job (2008)

A period piece set in 1970’s London is based on the true story of the Baker Street robbery of 1971. As opposed to Statham’s collaboration’s with Guy Ritchie, The Bank Job is more of a throwback to the classic British crime films of the 60’s / 70’s. In terms of the heist element of narrative the obvious comparison would be the original Italian Job. With precise attention to period detail, a fascinating insight into the actual events of the Baker Street robbery and a captivating cast, the film was a critical and commercial success.

3. The Transporter Series (2002 – 2009)

The French action series written and produced by Luc Besson helped catapult the Stath to B-List stardom. Quite remarkably successful, the series is still going strong, with a 4th addition to the film franchise released last year, and a spin off TV series that has been running since 2012. I first saw The Transporter shortly after it’s VHS release. I remember the tag line being: “The film xXx wishes it was”. Referring to the Vin Diesel action film released the same year. Despite The Transporter having less than half the budget of xXx it is definitely the superior work. It’s slicker, the action sequences are meatier, it’s funnier, it has a better story and Jason Statham plays a much better character and is a much more engaging on screen presence. Both his subsequent two films are very enjoyable, if not slightly ludicrous, and the underlying homoerotic nature of the films is to be applauded. Throughout the trilogy we see him shirtless, greased up in oil whilst grappling with other butch men and by the third film he is literally forced to perform an on screen striptease. And why not? Superb.

2. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

Guy Ritchie’s first feature length film and Jason Statham’s first acting role was the vehicle that propelled them both into stardom. Jason’s street vending monologue opens the film and sets the tone brilliantly. Ritchie’s choppy direction, pop soundtrack and ability to merge memorable dialogue with comedy and violence set his up as the U.K.’s answer to Tarantino. Alongside Snatch and RocknRolla, Lock Stock is the pièce de résistance in Guy’s trilogy of “guns and geezers” movies.

1. Snatch. (2000)

Of the two, and despite their blatant similarities, I’ve generally favoured Lock Stock as a film. However, as this blog post is about Jason Statham films, Snatch is without doubt the superior Statham performance. Promoted from his role in Lock Stock as part of the large ensemble cast, Statham leads the pack in Snatch. and holds his own against Hollywood heavyweights Brad Pitt, Benicio  Del Toro and Dennis Farina.

 

 

 

 

   

Batman v Superman: The Amazing Snyder-Man 2

For almost 80 years the infamous characters have consistently appeared in pretty much every incarnation conceivable. Originally appearing as comic book characters, there have been thousands of graphic novels published since the 1930’s. Some darker than others…

There’s been TV series. Some camper than others…

Films. Some more intelligent…

Than others….

Video games. Some more playable….

Than others…

There’s been acclaimed animated series…

TV origins stories…

Re-imagining’s in Lego…

And an entire galaxy of books, toys, games, collectibles, films, TV shows, cartoons, parodies, clothing, comics, fan-fiction and more or less every conceivable piece of merchandise you could possibly comprehend. It’s safe to say, both characters are as prominent as Mickey Mouse, Marilyn Monroe or The Beatles in terms of pop culture iconography. As well as their cultural significance, their image and logos are as recognisable as Coca Cola or McDonalds.

So, when dealing with characters that have been around forever and presented in every format under the sun, isn’t it strange that the latest Batman v Superman film has had mixed reactions? I’m bemused as to why Zack Snyder hasn’t been able to produce a definitive film for Batman and Superman fans, that pleases everyone in the world ever. For shame. Let’s talk about the films.

Batman

Similarly to Superman there’s dozens of films. Dating back to the 1940’s a myriad of actors and voice artists have donned the cape and or occupied the recording studio. Batman’s been camp and zany, gothic and conflicted, dark, light, solo, as part of a duo, as part or a trio, as part of a team, old, young, short, tall, grounded in reality, disorganised within the realms of science fiction, played (or voiced) by Americans, Brits, Canadians and Irish actors and gone through more outfits and colour scheme changes than Lady Gaga. The bottom line is, there is no definitive Batman.

Being a Christopher Nolan fanboy, The Dark Knight series is my favourite incarnation of the character. I loved the realism, the intelligence, the characters, the twists and near enough everything about them. Despite all critical acclaim and positive reaction from the fans, I’ve still had many discussions with friends and colleagues who simply don’t like the films. They don’t like the way Bane is portrayed, as it’s so dissimilar to the comics. They don’t like the Batmobile, the story and a number of other elements. The way I see it, there isn’t a seminal text, be it a graphic novel series, an animated series or a film series. Christopher Nolan shouldn’t have to strive to replicate certain elements of the story, and shouldn’t have to abide by ‘rules’ laid down in previous works. He took a handful of characters and created his own vision and own story with them. Similarly with Tim Burton, Zack Snyder, even Joel Schumacher and anyone else who’s directed a Batman film. They shouldn’t have to apologise or answer to anyone for their efforts. I actually quite enjoyed Joel Schumacher’s Batman. If he wants to put nipples on George Clooney’s Batsuit, or have Arnold Schwarzenegger sat around in fluffy slippers reeling off puns, or have Jim Carrey don a green leotard and ginger wig running around shrieking then fair play. Why not? I mean, it’s naff, but it’s an enjoyable kind of naff. His films weren’t made to be taken seriously, and were meant to be seen the way I first saw them, as a kid. They were coluorful and loud, and stupid and in one ear and out the other. Nothing to be ashamed of there.

Thusly if Tim Burton wants to squeeze Michelle Pfeiffer into a bondage suit, cast Billy Dee Williams as a character that has been (up to that point) historically Caucasian and make Jack Nicholson dance around an art gallery to a Prince song wearing a purple beret…. I’m not going to stop him.

Selina, die hilflose SekretŠrin, einmal als aggressive Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer) und ganz normal. © RECHTEHINWEIS: – Honorarfreie Verwendung nur im Zusammenhang mit genannter Sendung und bei Nennung ZDF/Zade Rosenthal. Andere Verwendungen nur nach Absprache. ZDF – Bilderdienst, Tel. 06131-706100, E-Mail: Bilderdienst@zdf.de

Superman

Being from the U.K. I’ve always found Batman has had more of a presence. We’re perhaps too cynical for a hero who is (essentially) omnipotent, all good, usually gets the girl and has flawless chiseled features. If you know what I mean….

I’ve always loved him though. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t a fan of Superman. From watching the 1996 animated series and flitting in and out of The New Adventures of Superman as a kid, I picked up all the Christopher Reeve films on the way. Then with the release of Superman Returns when I was in university, Man of Steel seven years later, and casually reading the comics and playing the video games I’ve never been without Superman. I love the films, even the latter two Reeve releases and Superman Returns. I remember Returns getting very mixed to negative reviews upon release, but I’ve always loved and championed it. Bryan Singer is a superb director, and it was wonderful to see a Superman film in the 21st Century. It managed to channel the charm and nostalgia of the Christopher Reeve films, without being too referential, and it’s one of my favourite superhero films of the decade. The same mixed reviews resurfaced with Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel, but again, I loved it. Granted the final battle sequence is slightly bloated and a bit too CGItastic, but the quieter moments, especially those with Kevin Costner are excellent.

Since the first (major) Superman film in 1978, there’s not been as much diversity in the character as there has with Batman. The six films that followed up to 2016’s Batman v Superman, have a pretty solid template for Clark Kent and Superman. He’s a big, good looking, sculpted man wearing the traditional suit and cape, and the thick rimmed glasses when incognito. He’s got extremely limited weaknesses, he strives for decency and justice, and he is in love with Lois Lane. Outside of that set framework, he’s not gone through as many image or personality shifts as the Dark Knight.

The main difference between the portrayal of the antagonists, is that Jesse Eisenberg needs to pick up the pace and secure at least two Academy Awards, to continue the tradition of the on-screen Lex Luthors.

So there it is. I like Batman, I like Superman…… And now…….

Batman v Superman

 

Let’s start with Zack Snyder. I’m kind of indifferent on him. I really liked Dawn of the Dead in 2004 and Man of Steel in 2013. Everything between that I can take or leave. 300 was okay. Watchmen was a bit overly long and lacking in any real depth. Sucker Punch… please. Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole…. completely passed me by. I’ve absolutely no interest whatsoever in seeking that out for a viewing. Presumably, alongside some CGI’d owls, it features really ripped, scantily clad men. A recurring motif that he has adopted….

Fair play to him. If I looked like Henry Cavill, I would pretty much insist that I be allowed to run around in the buff.

To sum up, I don’t really have any loyalties to team Snyder.

I was hugely in favour of Ben Affleck donning the Bat-suit, from the very first announcement. Similarly when Disney announced their takeover of the Star Wars franchise, a bunch of fans took the piss and got annoyed about it. I was right behind the Disney Wars project from the get go. And wouldn’t you know it, it turned out to be an extremely wise decision. Despite all the mockery and reservations that emerged since the conception of ‘Bat-Fleck’, once again I was correct. As it is now widely regarded that Ben Affleck is a brilliant Batman, and one of the best things about the film. People were so quick to remember:

And so quick to forget:

As well as Affleck’s collaborations with Kevin Smith, Richard Linklater, his Oscar winning work on Good Will Hunting, his Golden Globe nominated performance in Hollywoodland, his critically acclaimed role in The Company Men and the fact he was “the bomb in Phantoms yo”. I’ve always championed Ben Affleck, and was very excited for his Dark Knighthood. Sure, he’s done some shite in his time, but what Batman hasn’t?

Henry Cavill was solid (literally) in Man of Steel. Amy Adams is one of my favourite actresses. I’ve enjoyed Jesse Eisenberg’s work in the past, and Jeremy Irons is Jeremy Irons. So there was definitely nothing underwhelming in the cast list. I was unfamiliar with Gal Gadot having never seen her Fast and Furious films, so the added excitement of a mysterious actress taking on such a seminal role was all in place to make Batman V Superman an incredibly enjoyable 151 minutes.

It was. It really was. I know the film’s been bashed around plenty by the critics, the would-be critics, the fans of the comics, the fans of the previous films and a vast chunk of the movie going public, but I had a thoroughly good time watching it.

It’s been accused of being cluttered, incomprehensible, overly long and humorless amongst other things. All I can say is, I found the story engaging. At no point was I lost or unable to differentiate between dream sequences and reality. I thought Ben Affleck was superb and his interactions with Jeremy Irons were some of the films finest moments. Granted it’s not as witty as Nolan’s Dark Knight series, but it didn’t need to be. It doesn’t necessarily have to contain humour or wit to be classed as successful. It has something else, which was the ‘awe’ factor. Throughout the film there were many moments that just got me excited. Batman’s hand to hand combat scenes (particularly in the desert sequence) are some of the finest in his cinematic history. I loved the courtroom segments with Superman. The re-imagining of the Batmobile, suit and Batcave. The tension building character interactions at Lex Luthor’s party. The Flash / Aquaman teasers. The score from Hans Zimmer and even the final showdown featuring the three Justice Leaguers tripple teaming a giant baddy.

I found the end section of Man of Steel a tad lethargic as he was whizzing around, smashing the heck out of Metropolis. It seemed to drag on and on and wasn’t too narritively satisfying or gripping. When the big beasty got released in Batman v Superman I assumed it would be a similar affair, however Snyder seemed to rein it in a lot more, and despite the fact he was dealing with a larger CGI budget and thrice the amount of protagonists, he handled it very well. I didn’t feel it was too weighty and I actually cared what was happening.

From what I can gather, the incomprehensible criticism seems to be that the films flits between characters and segments too rapidly, and is generally a bit all over the place. I actually loved this about the film. It reminded me slightly of Game of Thrones in the sense that it had a number of story threads running parallel to each other, and jumped back and forth between them. In the sesne of:

• Here’s a Batman bit
• Here’s a Superman bit
• Here’s a Lois Lane bit
• Here’s a Bruce Wayne and Alfred bit
• Here’s a Clark and Martha Kent bit
• Here’s a dream
• Here’s Batman again
• Here’s Lex Luthor
• Here’s Bruce Wayne and Diana Prince
• etc

I thought this was a great way to film, and helped keep the pace up. Any film that’s north of two and a half hours requires some commitment, but at no point was I bored. At no point was I checking my watch, and at no point did I think, “this is going on a bit”. When dealing with as many integral characters as BvS does, it’s bound to get slightly jumbled. But on a whole I think Zack Snyder did very well at keeping up the tempo of the piece and giving all of the characters ample screen time.

The only element of the film that I genuinely dislike, which appears to be a universal qualm, is Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor. I’m not saying that Eisenberg’s a bad actor, I like him in The Social Network, Zombieland, Adventure Land and The Village. I’m not saying that’s how Lex shouldn’t be played, as with anything it’s open to interpretation. All I’m saying is that he was tremendously annoying. Giddily giggling and shrieking his way around the screen like a coked up version of his Mark Zuckerberg character from The Social Network. In a film that took a darker and grittier approach to the DC Universe, Eisenberg’s Luthor seemed out of place, and would have perhaps been more appropriate in a Batman film of the mid sixties.

 

Conclusively, I liked Batman V Superman very much. After snotty initial reviews, I did go in to the film ready to be disappointed and ready to dislike it, however this wasn’t the case. Granted it’s not the best Batman film that’s ever been made. It’s not the best Superman film that’s ever been made. I’d even go so far as to say that it’s not even the best Zack Snyder film that’s ever been made. But what it is, is a perfectly entertaining and solid jumping off point for the Justice League franchise. It’s not as intelligent as The Dark Knight or as colourful and humorous as The Avengers, but it is it’s own entity. It’s not trying to replicate either of these projects, which I like. Bring on the rest of the League.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Big Reviewski – Top 10 Coen Brothers Films

A new Coen Brother’s film is always an occasion to look forward to. I’m a big fan of their work and have seen all of their films many times over. They seem to flit seamlessly between comedy and drama, and can take their audiences to (often surreal) places like no other film makers I’ve ever experienced. With a back catalogue dating back to 1984, of their 17 written and directed films there has only been one that I’ve not loved. Their 2004 remake of  The Ladykillers didn’t particularly resonate with me. There was the occasional chuckle to be had, and some solid performances, however, I feel of all their work, it is the weakest by far.

I was originally going to attempt a top 5 but realised, with such an amazing collection of films, it was near enough impossible. Having sacrilegiously left out such classics as Blood Simple, Miller’s Crossing, Raising Arizona, The Hudsucker Proxy and O Brother Where Art Thou? and taking into account Intolerable Cruelty, The Ladykillers and their involvement with Paris J’Taime, Crimewave and Unbroken I could have quite easily stretched this out to a top 20. Alas, after much scrutiny, I’ve condensed it down as narrowly as I could. So, with the whimsical Hail, Caesar! fresh in my mind, here’s my top 10 films from the Coens:

10.  True Grit (2010)

Having re-watched this film recently, True Grit was a late contender for the top 10. Just pushing out Miller’s Crossing, the Oscar nominated Western kicks off my list. It would be unfair to call the film a remake of John Wayne’s 1969 classic as the film’s don’t share a great deal of DNA. Focusing more on the source material of the original novel, Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon partner up brilliantly with Hailee Steinfeld and lead a wonderfully shot drama about a revenge fueled manhunt. The soundtrack and cinematography really breathe life into the film, and having seen many modern Westerns, this is without doubt one of the finest.

9. Burn After Reading (2008)

It’s been rather a common trend for the Coen’s to immediately follow one of their gritty, awards heavy dramas with a furiously offbeat comedy. Rasing Arizona came after Blood Simple. The Big Lebowski followed Fargo. Intolerable Cruelty proceeded The Man Who Wasn’t There and their latest release Hail, Caesar! came off the back of Inside Llewyn Davis. 2008 was no exception. With No Country For Old Men collecting 4 Oscars, including best film, best director, best screenplay and best supporting actor, it’s hardly surprising that their follow up Burn After Reading was met with mixed reviews. In my opinion the film is vastly underrated. With a superb ensemble cast, and some genuine laugh out loud comedy moments, the film is definitely one of their quirkiest. I think it’s one of those films you either go with or think “what on Earth is this?”. I went with it.

8. Hail, Caesar! (2016)

Set in the 1950’s Hail, Caesar! is a touching homage to the golden age of cinema. From biblical epics, to Westerns, to period dramas to all singing-all dancing musicals, the film follows Josh Brolin’s Eddie Mannix around the sound stages of ‘Capitol Pictures’. Keeping a cool head he skillfully attempts to deal with a kidnapped leading man, a pregnant starlet, an inarticulate cowboy actor and an eccentric yet acclaimed European director. All whilst keeping journalists at bay, juggling his home life and perusing new employment avenues. The film is laugh out loud funny in places, and the attention to period details is superbly accurate. When it comes to Coen Brother’s comedies, they are quite comfortable taking their films to offbeat conclusions and have on occasion flirted with the surreal. The end of Hail, Caesar! is definitely one of the most bizarrely baffling endings I’ve seen for a very long time. The sheer absurdity of it is nothing short of genius.

7. Fargo (1996)

I love ‘cold’ films. The Thing, The Shining, Edward Scissorhands etc, and Fargo has to be a contender for one of the coldest films of all time. It has all the best Coen Brothers traits, skillfully merged together with fantastic performances across the board. Blending comedy with bloody violence, mystery and drama, Fargo is perhaps the finest example of their formula. Using the classic Coen’s trademark, of a very simple idea that goes disastrously wrong and spirals out of control, Fargo begins with a scheme for two men to kidnap the wife of a car salesman. Arranged by the husband, the plan was to stage a kidnapping and set a ransom for his millionaire father-in-law to pay. He would then pay off the kidnappers and keep the remainder of the ransom for himself. Complications arise and the body count starts increasing, which attracts the attention of the local law enforcement. Long time Coen Brother’s collaborator Frances McDormand turns in her finest performance to date as the Chief of Police Marge Gunderson.

6. A Serious Man (2009)

If Burn After Reading is one of the brother’s quirkiest films, A Serious Man may be THE quirkiest. It took a few repeat viewings for me to get my head around it. After the first, I was slightly underwhelmed. I’ve probably seen the film around 5 times now, and it’s grown to be one of my favourites. Like a lot of the Coen’s comedies, the comedy is so straight faced and bleak it’s almost none existent. It’s one of the most unique films they’ve done to date, which is really saying something.

5. Barton Fink (1991)

The 1990’s was perhaps the brothers most optimal decade. Producing arguably their finest work. From 1990 – 2000, there wasn’t really any filler. I’ve always championed Barton Fink and for a short while it occupied the number 1 spot in my list. A really oddball film with some powerful performances. With such a claustrophobic setting, and horrors gradually unfolding it’s possibly the finest film ever made about the writing process.

4. The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001)

This slow burning noir-thriller, has all of the Coen’s finest traits. One of their many films following an anti-hero and a seemingly straight forward criminal scheme. As is usually the case, the plan goes drastically wrong, and a suspenseful drama plays out with twists, turns and horrific moments. It’s one of Billy Bob Thornton’s finest roles and a massively underrated installment in the Coen Brothers back catalogue.

3. Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)

I fell in love with this film instantly. As Oscar Isaac opens the film, playing Hang Me, Oh Hang Me in it’s entirety you get a sense of the tone. From there, it plays out beautifully giving the audience a glimpse into the Greenwich Village folk scene of the early 1960’s. With a wonderful supporting cast, and one of the finest soundtracks of all time, Inside Llewyn Davis, is currently their finest film of the decade.  

2. No Country For Old Men (2007)

Possibly the least Coen brothers Coen brothers film I’ve seen. And not in a bad way. I mean simply that, the Coen’s work generally seems to hide away just outside the mainstream. Despite working with global superstars and having A-list ensemble casts, their work is usually too kooky and unique to get the acknowledgement of the general public. Nearly always popular with critics, their work has more of a cult following with audiences. No Country For Old Men however seemed to break this trend, becoming hugely popular at the box office. At it’s time of release, in terms of the box office numbers, it was their highest grossing film by quite a margin, as well as their most successful film in terms of Academy Awards achievements. It’s a beautifully simplistic tale about a drug deal gone wrong. With it’s unique minimalist soundtrack and superbly talented ensemble cast, the Coen’s manage to create some of the most tense and gripping moments in modern cinema.

1. The Big Lebowski (1998)

This was the film that really kick started my fascination with the Coens. I first discovered the film in a typical cliched film student manner during my first year of Uni. After being recommend the movie by a fellow student and advised to get merry, I settled into the bizarrely brilliant work and let it unfold magnificently. There’s been too many repeat viewings since then to count (none of them sober) and this cult classic still remains my favourite Coen brothers film to date.

 

 

 

Bond: The Top 007

It wasn’t until around 2007 / 2008 that I really “got” James Bond, having only a marginal interest in the film series up to that point.

Born in 1987, my definitive Bond, was and probably always will be Pierce Brosnan. I was 8 when Goldeneye was released and 15 when he made his last outing as Bond in 2002’s Die Another Day. Those seven years were obviously a seminal time in my film going history, and I remember seeing the latter three Brosnan films at the cinema at their time of release. At some point in this time I’d also tracked down Goldeneye on VHS.

Around that time I was only familiar with a couple of the other Connery and Moore films, that I’d seen on TV in passing, and had never really identified myself as a Bond fan.

Sure the Brosnan film’s were an enjoyable couple of hours spent in the cinema. But at the time they never really stood out as anything spectacular. They just seemed to be your bog standard, family friendly, big budget action blockbusters.

This is why, I didn’t rush to the cinema in 2006 to see Daniel Craig’s first outing in Casino Royale. The film didn’t particularly interest me. He, as an actor, didn’t particularly interest me and nothing in the publicity had really made an impact. It was purely by chance, that I found a DVD copy of the film lying around my student accommodation circa 2008. Having no TV licence, and living in the time before Netflix, and straight forward internet streaming, the majority of my student viewing was purely DVD based.

I popped in the film, with no expectations, and it absolutely blew me away. Compared to the Bond film’s I’d already seen, it was grittier, witter, more stripped down, better directed, better played, more grounded and most importantly more coherent. There are a few occasions in the Bond back catalogue, where you’re left thinking, “Where is Bond?”, “Why is he there?” and “What is he doing?”. Not because the plot is overly complicated, but because the writing and or direction fails to coherently develop the narrative.

Casino Royale completely reinvented the series, breathed new life into it and brought it successfully into the 21st century. Since seeing Casino Royale I have purchased the 50th anniversary Blu-Ray collection, containing all of the (MGM) Bond films from Dr. No (1962) to Quantum of Solace (2008).

Having now seen all of the films numerous times, I am able to understand the formula, the historical / cinematic importance and the legacy of the Bond franchise.

Naturally, I’m slightly biased towards the newer films and slightly nostalgic towards the 90’s Bond’s. However, I’ve read many “Top Bond” lists, that all appear to contradict each other based on the author, so there is no ‘definitive’ answer.

In this post, I’ll be looking at the films, the theme songs, the girls, the gadgets, the villains and the actors. I give you…. My top…… 007:

Themes

There’s quite an eclectic mix of Bond themes. There doesn’t seem to be an exact science to the composition, as the themes range from ballads, to rock, to new wave, to synth pop, to instrumentals, to electro, to orchestral, and have been performed by a mixture of male and female artists from the UK, the USA and Europe.

There are certainly recurring motifs within some the songs, such as brass and string arrangements, and references to the film or the characters within the lyrics. Because there’s such a wide range of songs on offer, it is perhaps this reason that the range in quality is quite vast. Some are absolute gems, some are mediocre and some are rather poor indeed. Notable flops for me would be Lulu’s awful The Man With the Golden Gun, Madonna’s hideous Die Another Day and Sam Smith’s uneventful Writing’s on the Wall from Spectre. 

Despite the chaff, there are at least 7 fantastic tunes that stand above the others. So, here’s my Top 007 Bond Themes:

007. Tomorrow Never Dies – Sheryl Crow (1997)

Often overlooked and underrated, Sheryl Crow’s rocky opener is by far the finest Bond theme of the Brosnan generation. I’m a big Sheryl Crow fan, and as well as co-writing the song she lends her vocals to it brilliantly. Not just a great Bond theme, but a great Sheryl Crow track.

006. Goldfinger – Shirley Bassey (1964)

 

The first of three themes that Shirley Bassey would perform, and without doubt her finest.

005. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – John Barry / We Have All the Time in the Word – Louis Armstrong (1969)

Slightly cheating with this one, but as the theme song to On Her Majesty’s Secret Service was an instrumental, the song associated with the film is often cited as Louis Armstrong’s We Have All the Time in the World, which features heavily in the movie. Both songs are written by John Barry and both songs are brilliant.

004. You Know My Name – Chris Cornell (2006)

 

A very personal choice for me this one. Not only is it the theme that explosively kick starts the film that really hooked me. I saw Chris Cornell performing the song live at a festival, accompanied by co-writer and long time Bond musical collaborator David Arnold on piano. A very special moment indeed.

003. Skyfall – Adele (2012)

 

I’m not an Adele fan. I’ve not really been particularly interested in anything she’s done to date…. Except…. Her majestic theme tune to Skyfall. I wasn’t too bowled over by it on first hearing, but seeing it within the context of the film, and after a few repeat listens, it definitely grew on me, and became one of my all time favourites.

002. Live and Let Die – Wings (1973)

An all time classic. Not just one of the best Bond themes, but one of the best songs in the Wings back calalogue. Successfully covered by Guns N’ Roses in the early 90’s the song has been featured regularly in Paul McCartney’s setlist ever since it’s release.

001. Nobody Does it Better – Carly Simon (1977)

Without doubt, my favourite Bond theme to date. It’s a beautifully romantic pop ballad, that sums up Roger Moore’s Bond perfectly. It works brilliantly in one of the best title sequences of the series, and removed from the context of the Bond world, still stands alone as a wonderful pop record.

Girls

The Daniel Craig era of Bond seemed to tone down the antiquated chauvinism in regards to it’s female protagonists. The ‘Bond Girls’ seemed to be more than just eye candy and serve as integral and interesting characters. My favourite Bond girls involve some obscure choices, but hopefully I’ll be able to present a successful case.

007. Stacey Sutton

Film: A View to a Kill (1985)

Actress: Tanya Roberts

Often cited as one of the worst Bond films, I actually rather like A View to a Kill. Stacey Sutton gets a mention, as for about half the film I was thinking, “where do I know her from?”. The answer being, she’s the ditsy Mum, Midge in That 70’s Show. Superb.

006. Christmas Jones

 

Film: The World is Not Enough (1999)

Actress: Denise Richards

When watching a Bond film, often your suspension of disbelief is key as the stories are more often than not completely fantastical. Christmas Jones gets a mention in the run down, as it is the most ludicrous plot point an audience has ever been asked to accept. That, the then 28 year old, Denise Richards is a Doctor of nuclear physics, who’s main occupation is dismantling nuclear warheads. Nope.

005. Mary Goodnight 

Film: The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Actress: Britt Ekland

Being a fan of cult films, particularly cult-horror films Britt Ekland has always been a pretty prominent figure on the circuit. Prior to The Man with the Golden Gun, her roles in Get Carter (1971) and the bizarre masterpiece The Wicker Man (1973), had established her as an extremely engaging on screen presence. With her broken English and obvious sex appeal, she was the ideal choice to star alongside Roger Moore in the prime of her career.

004. Miranda Frost

 

Film: Die Another Day (2002)

Actress: Rosamund Pike

The unpredictable double agent shifting alliances between MI6 and the central villian Gustav Graves. Miranda Frost get’s a mention, as she’s always stood out for me as a slightly unconventional Bond girl. She’s unconventional in the sense that the plot twists in which she’s involved, really are the heart of the drama. Most importantly, Rosamund Pike is a fantastic actress, which hadn’t necessarily been typical of Bond girls up to this point.

003. Eve Moneypenny

Film: Skyfall (2012) / Spectre (2015)

Actress: Naomie Harris

Speaking of fantastic actresses…. The reintroduction of the Miss Moneypenny character for the Daniel Craig era, was one of the best character reinventions of the series. No longer was Moneypenny a middle aged receptionist that would be a springboard for some Bond banter. She was now a smart, witty intrinsic element to the MI6 unit.

002. Paris Carver

Film: Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

Actress: Teri Hatcher

A very nostalgic one for me. Teri Hatcher was essentially my first Bond girl. With her four year stint as Lois Lane in The New Adventures of Superman, Teri Hatcher had already established herself as one of the 1990’s leading sex symbols. Her (unfortunately) small role in Tomorrow Never Dies confirms her status as one of the 90’s most desirable women.

001. Honey Ryder

Film: Dr. No (1962)

Actress: Ursula Andress

It’s strange to think that the early Connery Bond films have aged better than any of the 1970’s, 80’s or 90’s releases. The Roger Moore series looks particularly dated in terms of fashion, cars, music and gadgets and the even the Brosnan film’s are very much “of their time”, which 20 years on now seems rather outdated. With the reinvention of Bond in 2006, the main premise seem to be to strip away all the clutter that the series had gathered over the years, and get back to basics. There are references throughout the Craig films that throwback to the early movies, and with an ongoing 1960s revival in modern culture, the classic Connery films hold up very well. Naturally Honey Ryder had to be the number one choice. There’s absolutely nothing about her image that seems dated or old fashioned, and in terms of cinema alone, her character is iconic.

Villains

There have been a wide variety of Bond antagonists and henchmen. A common theme being some form of physical defect. Scars, false limbs, additional appendages etc. Some rely on intellect to overthrow Bond, others on strength, others use power and some are just plain psychopaths. Many Oscar wining actors and thespians have settled into the role and created many memorable characters. Here’s my picks:

007. Max Zorin

Film: A View to a Kill (1985)

Actor: Christopher Walken

I like A View to a Kill. It’s generally located towards the bottom of most peoples “favourite Bond movie” list. I mean everything about it is slightly rubbish, but I embrace the rubbishness. Admittedly a 58 year old Roger Moore, on Blu-Ray, in HD looks SO old, but still, it’s not a film that’s designed to be taken seriously. For my money Christopher Walken’s Max Zorin is the best thing about the film, and he can only really be rivaled by one other Bond villain for the title of, ‘most menacing hair.’

006. Hugo Drax

Film: Moonraker (1979)

Actor: Michael Lonsdale

It was notoriously difficult to be taken seriously in the most far fetched James Bond story line in the series, however Michael Lonsdale’s subdued performance gave the character a sinister demeanor that really contrasted well with Moore’s more animated persona.

005. Le Chiffre

Film: Casino Royale (2006)

Actor: Mads Mikkelsen

One the heavyweights of Danish cinema, Mads Mikkelsen has been one of my favourite actors for a long time. His fantastic performance as Le Chiffre kept me engaged and entertained throughout. It is really impressive how much tension and drama he and Daniel Craig created simply sat around a card table. Superb.

004.  Jaws

Film: The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) / Moonraker (1979)

Actor: Richard Kiel

One of the very rare occasions whereby a Bond villain makes a recurring appearance. Presumably due to his popularity, Richard Kiel reprised his role in Moonraker. Jaws is definitely my favourite of the Bond ‘henchmen’. His unique character trait of the thick metal teeth, and his unrelenting physical power make him iconic in the series.

003. Raoul Silva

Film: Skyfall (2012)

Actor: Javier Bardem

Another contender for the ‘most menacing hair’ competition. Skyfall was more or less a perfect Bond film, and Javier Bardem’s role as the psychotic Raoul Silva is one of the finest villains to data. He had everything that’s required for a classic Bond villain, and his introductory scene, as he approaches a restrained Daniel Craig is one of the best scenes in Skyfall.

002. Ernst Stravo Blofeld

Film: Various

Actor: Various

Cropping up numerous times in different incarnations in many of the films, Blofeld is perhaps the most infamous of Bond’s nemesis’s. Most recently portrayed by Christoph Waltz in 2015’s Spectre, Blofeld as a villain is as timeless as Bond himself.

001. Francisco Scaramanga

Film: The Man with the Golden Gun (1973)

Actor: Christopher Lee

He’s everything you need in a Bond villain. He’s tall, dark and mysterious. He’s menacing yet brilliantly intelligent. He has a unique physical defect (third nipple), an iconic trademark weapon and his own island. He has a memorable sidekick “henchman” in the form of Nick Nack and he’s portrayed superbly by one of Britain’s finest actors.

Gadgets

As with a lot of other elements in the Bond films, the gadgets, as they evolved became more and more exaggerated and unbelievable, generally for comedic effect. The early Connery gadgets made sense within the narrative and were usually subtle and innovative for the time. As the films progressed and Q’s role became more substantial, all bets were off when guessing what the new Bond gadget could be. Some worked, some didn’t. Some were funny, some weren’t. Some were used effectively within the story, some were just left at Q branch. No matter what the equipment was, it was rarely returned in one piece.

007. Ghetto Blaster

Film: The Living Daylights (1987)

An utterly pointless boom box that doubles up as a rocket launcher. It’s never used in the film, other than a quick demonstration in the lab, and doesn’t appear to serve any purpose whatsoever. Nice.

006. Rubber duck wet suit

Film: Goldfinger (1964)

From one of the best opening sequences in the series, Connery surfaces wearing the “stealth” outfit, before shedding it to reveal an immaculately dry and tailored white tuxedo.

005. Car defibrillator

Film: Casino Royale (2006)

A special mention for this one, mainly for context in which it’s used. Bond’s been in peril before, but I can’t remember anything as severe as him having to restart his own heart, before flat-lining and then being regenerated Vesper. It’s literally the gadget used to bring Bond back from the dead.

004. Submarine Lotus Espirit

Film: The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Equipped with periscope, homing missiles, underwater mines, torpedoes and a monitor for targeting, the Lotus “transformer” is one of the niftiest projects Q branch has undertaken.

003. Briefcase

Film: From Russia with Love (1963)

All neatly compact and disguised within the briefcase were a survival rifle and ammo, 50 gold sovereigns, a throwing knife and a tear gas cartridge, set to be triggered and to detonate, should the briefcase be opened incorrectly. Elegant.

002. X-Ray Specs

Film: The World Is Not Enough (1999)

Being 12 years old at the time of release, X-Ray specs were the definitive dream gadget you could wish for. Designed for subtly scoping out your enemies concealed weapons, Bond, on this occasion, pretty much uses them to do what any 12 year old boy would do with them.

001. Invisible Car

Film: Die Another Day (2002)

The most ludicrous, far fetched, removed from reality, impossible, illogical and ridiculous invention in, possibly the history of cinema. Love it.

Films

In terms of the film countdown, I’ve tried to spread my critique as widely as possible, incorporating films featuring 4 of the 6 Bonds. As I said earlier I am slightly biased towards the later releases and quite nostalgic towards Pierce Brosnan as the Bond I grew up with, so please take this in to account.

007. Moonraker (1979)

 

Bond in Space. Silly, ridiculous, camp, questionable effects but utterly brilliant. Not too many of the Bond’s crossover into science fiction, but noticing the sci-fi trend and box office success of the late 70’s, Mr Broccoli cashed in, and I’m incredibly glad he did.

006.  Die Another Day (2002)

A Brosnan Bond had to be in the list. Everyone generally tends towards GoldenEye as his finest outing, however I’ve always preferred his last film. I like all of his four movies, but if I had to pinpoint one purely for enjoyment factor, it would be Die Another Day. It’s just all over the place in terms of tone, theme, plot and genre. There’s a really bizarre fencing sequence featuring a cameo from Madonna. There’s invisible cars, surfing and sophisticated face modification technology in a lab that looks like it fell of the set of Batman & Robin. And if that’s not enough, you also have a cameo from John Cleese. Tremendous.

005. The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)

My favourite Roger Moore edition to the series. The Man with The Golden Gun never got the attention of it’s predecessor Live and Let Die which was Moore’s first turn as Bond, or as his next film The Spy Who Loved Me, which is often considered to be he finest outing as 007. The Man With The Golden Gun often gets overlooked in the back catalogue, but I think it’s fantastic. The story is well paced and intriguing. Christopher Lee is superb, and the final standoff between Bond and Scaramanga is utterly captivating.

004. Goldfinger (1964)

For me, the definitive Connery Bond film. It’s the one that really cemented the formula for everything that would follow.

003. Spectre (2015)

  The most Bond, Bond film that Daniel Craig has made. I loved watching Spectre. It was like a check list of 007 references. There was a bit of Live and Let Die, a bit of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, a bit of From Russia with Love and the narrative seemed a lot more referential of the Bond films of old. There were car chases, explosions, sinister, silent henchmen and luxury offices in the snowy mountains of Austria.  The film was nostalgic without being too tongue-in-cheek and managed to create an original story that felt contemporary.

002. Skyfall (2012)

With Sam Mendes in the directors chair, the film was by far the best directed Bond film to date. It’s beautifully shot with some amazing imagery, and it uses aspects of the franchise to revert back to the classic Bond films. With Casino Royale restarting the series, Craig’s next film Quantum of Solace wobbled a bit, not really bringing much to the plate, but Skyfall successfully manged to take the newly established Bond and revert him back to the classic 007 formula.

001. Casino Royale (2006)

This was where it all started for me. Admittedly I was 44 years late to the party but I was glad to be there. Daniel Craig was like no other Bond I’d seen and was the perfect casting choice for the reboot. I loved the stripped down story, and the fact the majority of the drama plays out during a card game. The supporting cast are brilliant, the direction is top notch and without this film, this blog post would not exist.

Bonds

The final countdown. The ultimate James Bond.

007. ????

With Damian Lewis, Tom Hardy and Idris Elba leading the pack in terms of bookies odds, who knows which direction the series will go in and who will don the next tux. I’d personally like to see Michael Fassbender take over the role, but it’s a long shot.

006. Timothy Dalton

He just wasn’t Bond for me. I like Timothy Dalton, I think he’s a fantastic actor and probably a more accomplished actor than most of the others on this list, but I just don’t see him as Bond. He didn’t have the right look, or the right attitude or the right mannerisms to convince me. The series wasn’t quite ready yet to go darker, grittier and more realistic after Roger Moore’s stint, and that’s perhaps why Dalton’s two films seem so out of place by comparison.

005. George Lazenby

I know it’s part of Bond legend to give Lazenby a bit of a rough time and a bit of a kicking, but I think he was a perfectly fine Bond. He definitely looks like Bond. He holds himself like Bond, and he starred in a really, really good Bond film. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service just missed out on my film list, but Lazenby’s incredibly brief 007 career was more than satisfactory for me.

004. Roger Moore

The longest serving Bond appearing in a record 7 films over a 12 year stretch, Moore was a different side of Bond. If Connery was the fighter, Moore was the lover. Playing up to the more comedic elements of the story Moore made the series a lot lighter and fantastical. I really like Roger Moore and his films, some of which are a little too close to parody, exist within their own universe. Bond doesn’t necessarily have to be dark, gritty and rooted in realism. Sometimes, you just want to go to space, have cars turn into submarines, and have a villain inflate like a balloon to bursting point.

003. Pierce Brosnan

More in the vein of Roger Moore’s Bond, Brosnan took elements from both of his main predecessors. Quickly establishing that he could throw a punch and handle a weapon, his era of Bond was primarily used to lighten up the series again. After Dalton’s mistimed, straight faced attempt to make the films darker, grittier and more grounded, Brosnan’s scripts were ripe with witticisms, innuendo and one liners. Continuing a formula that had proved to be successful throughout Moore’s career.

002. Sean Connery

The all drinking, all smoking, rough-housing original. Connery’s films are generally considered to be the seminal Bonds. Regardless of what happened after Connery’s 007 term ,and what will happen in the future, he will always be iconic in the role.

001. Daniel Craig

I’ve gone with Daniel Craig for a number of reasons. Firstly, I think he’s the best actor out of anyone who’s played the role. He brought something to the character that we had never seen before, vulnerability. He restarted the franchise in the most successful way possible, performing an almost impossible feat of almost unanimously uniting both the fans and the critics. His physical performance brought something to the role I’d never seen before. In the past Bond had been shown to be some kind of indestructible superman, but with Daniel Craig, you got the sense of genuine peril, and the real threat of danger. The punches and gun wounds were the most realistic an audience had seen. Plus, most importantly, Daniel Craig is the reason a film series that had been running for over four decades, suddenly sparked an interest with me.